Happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy. It's something people strive for in their day to day lives. Happiness is a matter of getting in tune with ultimate reality. Everyday I struggle with the feeling of happiness. Why, might you ask? I don't know. I'm only 16, almost 17 - And I do realize that I have my whole life ahead of me - and I will experience different things in my future, but as of right now, I resent every day. I'm always stressed. Whether about schoolwork or my relationships with people. As I'm experiencing the 'teenage life', I'm beginning to understand what I do and what I don't want to be involved in. I don't understand why teenagers do stupid things, and it's not that I judge people for it, I just don't understand the point of it. Honestly, I don't understand the point of anything. I'm struggling with the idea of life, and why God created this. But that's a whole different topic in itself. Back to happiness- The idea of love sounds so fantastic. Finding the love of your life makes everyone happy. It's someone who you can love, and that person loves you back. What could be better than that? At 16, I haven't experienced one ounce of this. Well I shouldn't say that. This year, I started to really like a guy. He made me feel happy, and I looked forward to talking to him everyday, and I fantasized about what could be. Then, my friend started to go for him, and I decided that the right thing to do would be to back off. Maybe I should have fought for what I wanted, but I didn't want to get into a fight over a guy. Now, in my senior year, I have never felt anything close to love, and I feel as if something is wrong with me? I know, i know. I should feel happy by myself and content with what I have now. But I'm not. Even with friends, I feel like I have none. I have aquaintances. People I hang out with, but nobody really seems to be similar to me and understand me. This morning in church, there was a quote that went up on the screen:

A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness.
-- Bernard de Fontenelle

I expect too much. I want everything - a boyfriend, best friends, etc. It's a terrible state of mind to have - wanting and wanting, and thinking nothing is good enough. I hate when girls always say that they want or need a boyfriend. But sometimes that's how I feel. I look around at the people in my life. The one's that are the most happy are the ones that have a significant other. Sometimes this makes me feel really depressed, but recently I've realized that's a terrible way to look at life. Looking and being sad about what you don't have is stupid. I'm expecting too much, and if I keep thinking like that - I'll never be happy.